Parakarry's Adventure
by IPreferParakarry-Zackovic
Summary: Parakarry is forced onto an adventure with Mario. Not much of a plot, and full of a retarded humor. Rated T for safety, language and stupidity. Contains Language, 4th wall breakage and some other things, blah de blah, etc.
1. Chapter 1: Sleep Interruption

**Parakarry's Adventure**

**Let's get one thing straight, this is a ridiculously retarded humor story. It's just bad. If you can't listen to this warning, that's your funeral. It's retarded and full of weird, stupid humor. REQUESTED BY SOME VARIOUS MEMBERS OF TEAM ZACKOVIC (YOU IDIOTS). **

**If you feel your brain rotting away or your IQ physically dropping by the second as you read the story, just close it. I don't want to be blamed for your F's in your report cards or job applications.**

Chapter 1: Interrupted sleep.

Parakarry is a Paratroopa who flies around the Paper Mario universe delivering mail to god knows where and god knows who. Early one morning, Parakarry was sleeping on the job, literally. He was asleep on the main counter in the post office, snoring with a puddle of drool formed at edge of his mouth. He was so deep in sleep that he never heard Mario walk inside.

"Hey Parakarry!" Mario said cheerfully.  
Parakarry continued snoring.

"Parakarry?" Mario asked, realizing he was asleep.  
Parakarry twitched slightly.

"I wanna ride the Cheep Cheep again." He muttered subconsciously.  
Mario cleared his throat and took a deep breath. He raised his finger and opened his mouth wide.

"STAMPEDE!" He shouted.

"Waaah!?" Parakarry shouted, bolt upright, before he fell off the counter. He got up, floating in the air with his wing beating lazily.

Phew," he exhaled. "It's just one cow."  
Mario was not amused.

"I'm just a magnet for these fat jokes, aren't I?" He mumbled. "I want to sue Nintendo."  
Luigi walked inside at that moment. Parakarry yawned.

"Guys, it's sunday." He said. "Why do you have to wake me up this early?"

"Well, it's such a beautiful day today, so I thought to myself: 'Mario, you need to go exploring.'" Mario said.

"So, it's not because Princess Peach kicked you out to go the gym, right?" Parakarry asked musingly.  
Mario looked and felt offended.

"That's besides the point!" He snapped. "Anyways, I was wondering if you'd like to come with me, Luigi and Daisy to LavaLava island. And that means you have to."  
Parakarry groaned.

"Mario, you came here by yourself, right?" Parakarry asked.

"Yes." Mario nodded. "Yes I did."

"So, can't you go to LavaLava Island by yourself?" Parakarry asked. "Why do you need me?"  
Mario's smile dropped.

"Oh. Well let's just say the last time I travelled by sea it didn't go so well." He explained. "I'm lucky I can even drive my kart without crashing it!"

Mario went back in memory, remembering the time he tried to enter sailing events in the London 2012 Olympics. He was sailing down the course, the wind blowing and water splashing in his face. Then, a piranha randomly jumped out off the water and bit his butt. Mario yelled and lost control of the boat. He stopped looking at the course to try and wrench the piranha off his backside.

Luigi was cruising around the first checkpoint, turning a full circle to head down the opposite side of the course. That's when Mario crashed straight into his side, sinking both of their boats.  
Luigi broke through the surface of the water, completely drenched, and pulled his brother out.

"Where did they teach you to get your license?!" Luigi yelled at Mario.  
Mario was now wrestling with the rabid piranha, which was clamped on his massive nose.

"Ow! I already told you-**OUCH!**- bro!" Mario yelled. "I'M F##Kin' -**YEOWCH!**- CLASSIFIED!"

**Back in present time...**

Mario shuddered and Luigi rolled his eyes.

"Was I supposed to see something just now?" Parakarry asked, confused.

"No, it's a flashback. No one understands how it works." Luigi explained.

Parakarry yawned and groaned. "Alright, just let me get my stuff together."

End of C1.


	2. Chapter 2: By the Beach

**Chapter 2: By the beach.**

So, long story cut very short, Parakarry accompanied Mario, Luigi and Daisy to LavaLava island. While Mario, Luigi and Daisy went down to the beach, Parakarry saw a familiar friend walk up to him.

"Oh great." He muttered. "It's the adventurous blue-shelled Koopa."

And it was. Kooper walked up to Parakarry.

"What's up, wingman?" He said happily.

"Don't call me that." Parakarry mumbled. "And what are you doing here anyways?"

"I don't really know." Kooper admitted. "I came here to adventure through the forests with Kolorado, but apparently he's sick. So I figured I might as well relax for a while."

"I see." Parakarry said, then let out a yawn.

"Boy, you look tired." Kooper said. "Did something happen last night.

"Something _did_ happen last night." Parakarry said. "You know that music concert that Princess Peach is hosting later this month?"

"Yeah." Kooper replied. "What about it?"  
Parakarry muttered something incomprehensible.

"Of all the times that band, Toad Talk, had to practice their singing," He muttered angrily, before shouting: "**IT HAD TO BE TWO IN THE FREAKING MORNING!**"

Kooper facepalmed. "Oh geez. Please don't tell me they were playing Stupid Hoe, AGAIN."

"No." Parakarry said. "It was worse." He shuddered.

**THE NIGHT BEFORE...**

_'Hey, I just met you,_  
_And this is crazy,_  
_But here's my number,_  
_So call me, maybe?'_

These lyrics screamed though massive, skyscraper high stereos at Two o'clock. Parakarry screamed from his bed inside the Post Office, but it wasn't even audible over the sound of that horrible, and I mean HORRIBLE music. He pulled his pillow over his twitching, bloodshot eyes and tried fruitlessly to drown out the sounds.

**BACK IN PRESENT TIME, DOWN BY THE BEACH**

Mario, Luigi and Daisy were challenging each other over who could create the best sandcastle.

"Well, I'm done with mine." Mario announced. He had created a nice, simple sandcastle about two feet high and five feet in diameter.

"Me too." Daisy agreed. She created a slightly bigger sandcastle.

"Guys, check this out." Luigi boasted. His castle was twenty feet high and extremely well-detailed. It even had a working sand cannon. Like what the heck?!

Mario only shrugged. "Meh, I've seen better."

Luigi's face sunk. "Bro, you never like ANYTHING I do!" He shouted angrily.

"Hey that's not true." Mario said defensively. "You did really well when we were in our Middle School's summer musical."

"I was a bush." Luigi sighed.

"Okay, uh, winter musical?"

"He was a shovel." Daisy said.

"Uh, what about Romeo and Juliet?" Mario asked.

Luigi smacked his own face. "**WE WENT TO AN ALL BOYS SCHOOL, BRO!**" He shouted, then sighed miserably. "Like you care. I'm going back to Parakarry." He then sulked off, hands in his pockets.

Daisy leaned over to Mario. "You remember that map we found the other day, right?"  
Mario nodded.

"Well, I think it might be a real map." Daisy said. She pulled out a weathered piece of paper that looked a little more than a 5 year old's crayon drawing. She flipped over the paper, and showed a faint but visible detailed map of LavaLava island.

"Hm. Interesting." Mario mused.

End of C2.


	3. Chapter 3: Into the Jungle

**Chapter 3: To the Jungle.**

Mario, Luigi and Daisy walked into Yoshi village, where the Yoshi's cheerily greeted them and...errrr... ah screw this! Who cares about the description of idiotic, happy-go-lucky townsfolk who probably smoke weed offset so they can stay so damn high all the time in a practically cliché video game village?**(Told you, retarded humor.)**

Anyways, Mario, Luigi and Daisy met up with Kooper and Parakarry in front of the village Inn.

"Hey Parakarry. We're about to go exploring." Mario said, showing the old map Daisy had given him. "To the castle of...uh..." he squinted at the faded lettering on the map. "The castle of..Crys...Kryist...eq,krist..." he looked up, embarrassed. "I can't make it out."

"Crystantheum Castle? I love that place!" Another familiar voice said.

"Wait, is that Goombario over there?" Luigi asked.

Goombario, the Goomba with the blue cap, popped up from behind Kooper, beaming. "Yep! That would be me!"

"What are you doing here?"

"I apologise." Kooper said. "Kolorado's sick with the flu, and... well, you've just got to go with the best you can, right?"

Goombario looked down and sighed. "Ah, it's the story of my life. I've gotten used to it."

"I hope you're not planning anything as dumb as the Poison Shroom prank you performed on Christmas again." Luigi said, frowning.

"No dude, I've learned my lesson from that." Goobario said.

Yoshi Jnr. showed up, looking quite green and clutching his stomach. Wait, he always looked green. Let's just say he looks like someone who's gonna puke at any minute.

"Yeah, at my expense, sadly." Yoshi Jnr groaned sickly. He then threw up right there. Luigi backed away slowly.

Well, pretty soon, they set off into the LavaLava jungle. It was hot, sweaty, filled with bugs, blah de blah blady blah. Oh, and somewhere in that another rabid piranha did a kamikaze attack on Mario's posterior.

"Are we there yet?" Daisy asked, annoyed by the mosquitoes that continuously buzzed around their heads.

"For the ninth time already, NO!" Mario said, fed up.

"I have to pee." Luigi announced awkwardly.

"Hey, I've got some cups if you want." Goombario offered.

"Ugh." Parakarry groaned. "Don't be disgusting, Goombario!"

"Hey come on, these things are the future I'm telling you! They're all portable toilets!"

"Goombario, do you take drugs, by any chance ?" Luigi asked.

Everyone seemed to stop and stare at Goombario. Goombario eyes darted from side to side. "Err...err..." was all he could say.

**A/N: Poor Goombario just can't be understood. Maybe it was the neglect, maybe it was his uselessness in battle, or maybe it was because he accidentally snorted...WHAT?! [Cracks up] Sorry! [Doubles over with laughter]**

"Get on with it!" Parakarry shouted.

"Yeah, get on with it!" Mario and Luigi added.

"GET ON WITH IT!" The entire Mushroom kingdom yelled.

**A/N: Sorry, that was just too funny.**

"GET ON WITH IT!" A voice boomed from the sky. (Proof that a god exists.)

"Oh my gosh, the sky is talking to me again!" Goombario said.

A/N: Dude, you snorted Skittles?

"Don't ask man." Goombario muttered. "Just, just don't."

**15 minutes later...**

The group then walked into a small clearing, then noticed a small hut nearby, where a yellow Yoshi sat against lazily, strumming a guitar.

"Hey, let's ask him if he knows about the castle." Daisy said.

"Nah." Mario shrugged off the idea. "Let's just go. I know what I'm doing."

"Sheesh, what is it with famous characters and asking for a directions?" said an unknown voice.

Everyone looked over to their left side to see a Boomerang Bro standing next to the edge of the clearing. He wore a Blue Shell, a Blue Helmet, and he had blue eyes that sparkled with humor. His eyes darted to each one of the characters that were looking at him.

"What?" He said, raising his arms. "You think EpicYoshi390000 is the only author that sneaks his OC's into this lazy yet somehow interesting author's stories?" He folded his arms and grinned. "At least when I do it, it's actually funny." He pulled out a tape recorder and the sound of an audience laughing came out of the speaker.

"Who the heck are you?" Parakarry asked.

"My name's Flick." Said the Boomerang Bro. "I'm a guest OC in this story recommended by IPreferKooper-Koops-KoopaKevic."

Everyone still stared at Flick.

Realization struck Flick. "I just broke the 4th wall didn't I?"

"Twice." Daisy noted.

The yellow Yoshi set down his guitar and walked over to the group.

"Hey guys." He greeted. "Where are you heading off to?"

"Oh, we're heading towards an old castle." Parakarry said. "The fat guy in the red overalls has the map."

Mario looked insulted. "Hello? I'm right here." He said, annoyed. "Geez, I'm only 120."

Flick half-coughed/half-snorted. "Yeah, but in pounds, kilograms or tonnes?"

Everyone fell over laughing, while Mario blushed fiercely.

"Good one Flick." Luigi said, wiping a tear of laughter from his eye.

The Yellow Yoshi politely took the map from Mario and examined it carefully.

"Oh I see." He said. "But you were holding the map upside down."

Mario's eyes widened. "Say what?!"

"Yeah, it's just straight down the jungle." The Yellow Yoshi said. "But if you hit the volcano you've gone too far."

So, long-description-that-should-be-summed-up-quickly-but-isn't-thanks-to-this-annoyingly-long-thingamajig, Mario took his map back and headed back into the jungle. Now the adventure might actually get serious!

**End of Chapter-you-know-which-number.**


	4. Chapter 4: Castle or Mines?

**Chapter 4: Castle or Mines?**

Bushes and trees flew and crunched everywhere as Parakarry and his friends navigated through the forests. Mario kept his eyes open for rabid piranhas while Flick broke out so many puns I'd have to make this chapter 100 time larger to fit just a fraction of them.

Pretty soon, the group stopped in front of a fork in the path. A sign hung in the middle, pointing left for Chrysanthemum castle and right for a place none of them had known, Mining Mines.

"Let's go to the mines!" Mario said.

"I thought we were going to the castle!" Daisy said. "Besides, the castle will be much more interesting than some old mines."

Mario put his hands to his ears. "Nobody cares about what you think." He said tauntingly.

Daisy huffed and stomped her foot. "Luigi does."

"Of course I do!" Luigi defended.

"Doesn't matter to me, because they both speak adventure." Kooper whispered to Parakarry as they watch Mario and Daisy quarrel.

"Do I get a say in this?" asked Flick.

"No!" Everyone shouted.

Flick's face dropped. "Man, I hate being an OC." He muttered.

Parakarry sighed and raised his hands. "Look, we're not going to get anywhere just standing here. I say we leave it to Goombario."

Everyone looked at Goombario, who looked quite nervous. Yep, peer pressure ain't pleasant.

"Um, ah, er, um, errr..." Goombario muttered, glancing in every direction. Then a lightbulb illuminated over his head. "Aha!" He exclaimed. "I believe I shall approach this matter..." He paused for dramatic effect. "...Scientifically."

Parakarry muttered something negative.

Goombario took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Eeny, meeny miney, mo." He started singing. "Catch a snow leopard by the toe. If he hollers, you...give him a biscuit. And..." Goombario opened his eyes, having forgotten the lyrics. "...er...oh, LEFT!"

Everyone stared at him. A swarm of crickets chirped loudly in the background.

"This is idiotic." Parakarry facepalmed. "Let's just go to the castle."

So, another paragraph later, since the author was too lazy to come up with another trekking explanation, Parakarry and his friends stopped in front of an old, tall, moss-covered castle.  
"The castle!" Kooper, Daisy, Mario and Luigi exclaimed together. The tower was very elegant in it's old-fashioned way, blah,blah, blah, who gives three $#!ts about an old castle anyway?

"Such beauty." Mario said. "Now we shall visit the mines."

Another long-description-I-won't-bother-to-come-up-with-later, Parakarry and his friends cut through the shrubbery and reached a clearing shaped into a canyon, strewn with crumbling buildings and rusty machinery around the pits.

"Boy, this place sure has gotten beaten down." Kooper noted.

"How do you know?" Mario asked.

Kooper laughed. "I used to work here during my breaks at Mushroom Archaeology University. This place used to worked on by the local Yoshi's. You can still see the pits that they used to mine in."

Yeah, but now everything was rusty, overgrown, dirty and just plain icky.

"And that's why we don't let this stupid narrator narrate most stories." Wario suddenly said. He heard an evil growl behind him and paled. "Flick's right behind me,isn't he?"

"Oh, you know it!" Flick said angrily. He swung his boomerang at full speed, sending Wario flying across the Mushroom Kingdom and then bouncing to god knows where, yelling: "SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" the entire time.

Thanks Flick!

"Anytime, Zacko!" Flick said cheerfully.

Well, back to the story, everyone seemed to enjoy examining the mines, but Parakarry found the place a little scary.

"How the hell can you read my thoughts?" Parakarry asked to the sky, where the narrator usually is. Unfortunately for Parakarry, I can't exist in video and am currently narrating in a very comfortable apartment somewhere in a country halfway across the world. Suckers!

Later that day, Mario and the rest of the guys met up with Parakarry at Yoshi Village, watching the sun set across the ocean. Luigi and Daisy had gone to the beach, making out, Flick presumed.

"I think the mines and the castle deserve a restoration." Mario said.

"Definetly." Kooper agreed.

"Y...yeah, I guess." Parakarry said nervously. He still wasn't keen on the mines.

"Shut up, Narrator." Parakarry muttered.

End of Chapter IV.


	5. Chapter 5: Retarded Restoration

**Chapter 5: Retarded Restoration**

**MISSING SCENE FROM CHAPTER 4: (after Wario gets pitched across Mushroom Kingdom but before the group went back to Yoshi Village.)**

Goombario ducked quietly into the forest and pulled out a few of his cups.

"Ahh, finally."He said, relieved. "No distractions, nobody else, just me. Now where did I leave my journal? I think I left it at home on the..." He stopped suddenly. "...table. Dammit, now Goombaria's going to find it."

**MENAWHILE IN GOOMBA VILLAGE..**.

Goombaria was reading through Goombario's stolen journal, laughing out loud at anything that embarrassed Goombario, including his fear of heights.

"Just think of all the dirt I'll have over him when he gets back!" She said, grinning devilishly and shaking tears of hysterical laughter from her eyes.

So, after a few days, work had started at the mines in order to rebuild it, but Parakarry was still unnerved by the mines.

"I'm telling you dude, this place is haunted." He whispered to Kooper.

"Relax, Parakarry." Kooper said. "It's just an old mine."

Luigi and Flick walked up to Parakarry and Kooper.

"Well, since everyone's done their turn already, Parakarry, you're on watch duty tonight."

Parakarry's eyes bulged. "T...T...tonight? Why?" He asked nervously.

"Well, everyone has already taken their turn." Luigi explained.

"Beware the ghost doesn't get you, Parakarry!" An annoying voice came from behind them. They all turned around, only to find the annoying, stupid, nose-picking fathead aka Wario had come back.

"What are you talking about, Wario?" Flick shot back. "And why are you trying to sound like a cross between Waluigi and Bowser?"

"Why do you sound like a bisexual Croatian wimp?" Wario insulted.

Flick gave him the are-you-kidding-me face. He turned his back to the group and walked away, shoulders hunched.

"Anyway," Wario siad. "I was referring to the old warrior ghost." The lights suddenly went dark (during midday? Who's controlloing the sun now?!) and Wario pulled out a flashlight to his face. "Every night, he lights his pipe and goes hunting, hunting for _turtles_ that_ constantly lose things_."

Parakrry glared daggers at Wario. The daylight returned.

"And let me just say, he's a lot more successful than _**THAT**_ guy." Wario added, referring to Elmer Fudd.

"No worries then." Flick said, appearing at Parakarry's side out of nowhere. "I'll stay to keep watch with you." And in no way did Flick sound like a bisexual Croatian wimp.

Parakarry groaned and rolled his eyes. "Well, that's just _great_."

"Well, I'm off." Wario said. "I'm gonna kidnap Princess Peach tonight!"

Luigi cracked his knuckles and Flick smiled deviously at him. "Oh, then let us help you." Flick said.

Wario's eyes went small. "Should've seen this coming from a mile away." He muttered.

Flick and Luigi struck out at Wario, sending him flying once more across the horizon.

"SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" Wario screamed.

Ooh! I like that! AGAIN!

Everything rewinded and played again.

"SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" Wario screamed again.

Again!

"SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" Wario screamed again.

This went on for about fifteen minutes, then Flick got bored, leaving a smoldering, broken Wario halway across the Mushroom Kingdom.

"Note to self:" He whimpered. "_**Never** _talk about your plans around Flick."

No, Wario did not die. Sadly.

**END OF CHAPPIE V.**


	6. Chapter 6: A Ghost?

**Chapter 6: A ghost?**

Parakarry watched Wario go flying. He was so focused on watching the fathead fly that he didn't see a redneck Yoshi with a day old beard (I presumed he was a redneck since he was red) walk up to him.

"Excuse me sir, but if you and your friends are going to go ahead with restoring these mines, I suggest you check out the tunnels first." He said.

"How come?" Kooper asked.

"Well, last I heard, some wacko stuck a stick of C4 explosive, a Goomba skeleton and a lifetime supply of Super Shrooms inside tunnel 3-5-R-9."

Parakarry raised an eyebrow. "Really?" He turned to Flick. "Hey Flick, do you know anything about this?"

"What in the f*ck are you looking at?!" Flick said, offended.

After waiting a while, the night fell.

**OW!**

Flick: What happened?

**Author: [winces] I think the night fell on me.**

Flick looked up to the sky. "Will you cut this out?!" He shouted.

**MEANWHILE...**

Parakarry hummed tunelessly while a small blanket of fog circled just above the ground. Kooper and Flick wandered around with flashlights, just keeping an eye open for anything suspicious.  
Then, they heard a loud CRASH! from inside an old warehouse. Everyone whirled around to face the small, broken warehouse, while Parakarry yelped.

"It's the ghost!" He yelled, terrified.

_Ghost in the hallway,_  
_Hunting you down!_  
_Ghost in the hallway,_  
_Hunting you down!_

**- Screaming vocal by that damned band Toad Talk.**

"Knock it off!" Flick shouted. "Your music sucks anyway!"

The lead singer put down his guitar. He was a Toad who was wearing sunglasses and had his mushroom cap shaved into a mohawk.

"Yep, everybody's a critic." He sighed.

"Thank you." Parakarry said. "Now, as I was saying: It's the damn freaking ghost!"

"What ghost?" Kooper asked.

"The old warrior Wario mentioned." Parakarry said, quaking in fear. "He's real and he's going to hunt me down!"

**Geez Parakarry, you are just too naive.**

"Okay," Sighed Flick. "Me and Kooper will go over and take a look." They turned on their flashlights and walked towards the old warehouse, then went inside. Parakarry floated in the same spot, shaking in fear. Just when he was going to make a run for safety, Kooper and Flick came back out and walked over to him, both smiling.

"You're not going to believe this: The Old Warrior wants to talk to you." Kooper said with a grin.

"Can't he wait until morning?" Parakarry complained.

Flick laughed. "Ghosts don't work in the daylight, dude."

**What will happen when Parakarry comes face-to-face with the OLD WARRIOR? DEATH? STUPIDITY? SOMETHING THAT ESCAPES MY MIND AT THIS MOMENT?**

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

**Actually, I need to know now. I kid, you guys.**

So, after some friendly persuasion from Flick.

"_Persuasion_?!" Parakarry shouted. "That Psychopathic weirdo had me pinned in a masterlock!" He flew slowly inside the warehouse and came towards a figure who was smoking a pipe.

"Hey, what's Boshi doing here?" Parakarry whispered.

The figure, and old dark blue Yoshi, got up and examined Parakarry.

"Actually, my name is Paul." He said. "Even though I look like Boshi because some lazy Swedish pal of the author couldn't be bothered to switch my color pattern from the original Boshi." He sighed in frustration. "So he gave me a new name and slapped me into this story and BOOM!, I'm a new OC."

"This is the Paul, Parakarry." Kooper said to Parakarry which actually was delayed so that Paul could finish his rant. "He's known as the old warrior because of his bravery.

"Indeed." Paul smiled. "I was quite the hunter back in my peak years."

"You were, were you?" Flick asked, then an evil smile grew across his face. "I'll be right back."

"Where is he going?" Paul asked, confused.

Kooper winked at Parakarry, who snickered. "Wait for it..." He said.

"Oh hey, Flick!" Wario said from outside the warehouse.

Paul, Kooper and Parakarry looked outside through a broken window.

**NOTE I CAN'T DESCRIBE THE NEXT PART, SO USE YOUR IMAGINATION.**

"Hey wait, what are you...? No, no, no, I was just... Oh crap, oh crap oh crap... NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"

Flick shot his boomerang, which had a time bomb strapped to it, at Wario. The bomb exploded, sending Wario flying for the fifth time in three chapters.

"I was trying to tell you he wasn't a ghost at alllllllllllllllllllll!" Wario screamed as he went flying, before landing with an explosion somewhere in the distance, presumably a minefield.

Wow, Wario went flying for the fifth time? Yay! New record! My dreams are coming true! I mean, **[coughs]** poor Wario...

**To be continued**

**Seriously, with pickles. And cheese.**


	7. Chapter 7: Damn Dam Inspection

**Chapter 7: Damn Dam Inspection**

Well, soon after the last Wario-chucking incident, Paul was eventually discovered and blah blah no inspiration to write this or the next part of the chapter.

Anyhow, the castle and the mines were eventually refurbished and started to bring in lots of visitors. More visitors meant more money, which also meant more money went to the fat plumber's pockets.

"Well, sad, but true." Mario confessed.

Anyways, I say that a lot lately, after about a month, the monsoon season started to hit LavaLava Island, with rain pouring down for weeks on end. Parakarry felt a little miserable because of the dark gray skies and never ending rain.

Flick also seemed upset by the weather, because he walked up next to Parakarry looking uncharacteristically downcast.

"Parakarry?" He said, surprised. "Shouldn't you have gone back home by now?"

"That's where I would like to be." Parakarry said. "But the weather won't let us leave." He sighed. "And now I have to go inspect the island's dam with Kooper for any damage. And I_ HATE_ water." He shook his wings and sighed frustratingly.

Flick smiled weakly. "Oh man, let me play you a tune on the world's smallest guitar."

"Flick, I'm serious!" Parakarry shot back.

"I know, this really _is_ the world's smallest guitar." Flick pointed out his index finger and put a magnifying glass over it. "See?"

Parakarry sighed and gave Flick an are-you-kidding-me stare. "You're a lot of help Flick, you know that?"

Flick laughed weakly. "Yeah, I know." His smile melted. "But, from what the locals tell me, there's another storm coming. You might want to be careful out there."

"You don't have to tell me twice." Parakarry said, getting up.

Parakarry and Kooper then set off along a well-beaten trail, which was more difficult for Kooper, since he couldn't fly.

"Sure, now you show some kind of sympathy for the ground-koopas." Kooper muttered.

**A/N: Shut up, Kooper.**

The path eventually went across an old wooden bridge, where the water level had gone past it's usual zone. Parakarry and Kooper could still cross, but the water below raged and churned not too far below as it headed downstream.

After ten minutes(ish), Parakarry and Kooper reached the dam. They slowly looked around and at the dam, checking for any signs of wear or damage. All of this would have gone well, if two Shy Guys a little downstream hadn't decided to cause a ***COUGH COUGH*** little bit of mischief.

"Hey dude, I bet I can hit that loose brick in the dam, with this rock." One Shy Guy said.

"Ha, that's a laugh, I bet you can't." The second one said.

"Oh yeah? Watch this." Shy Guy 1 said. He threw the rock, which flew through the air and hit a loose brick in the dam. The whole dam began to creak.

"Uhh, dude? What did we just do?" Shy Guy 2 asked nervously.

Back up on the dam, Parakarry and Kooper tensed nervously as the dam began to creak. Suddenly, a crack appeared in the dam and streaked across the wall, spraying water form between the cracks.

"The dam's breaking!" Kooper shouted. "We gotta get back and warn everyone, NOW!"

Parakarry and Kooper took off at top speed, rushing back to town as fast as they could.

**End of Chappie 7.**


	8. Chapter 8: Bridge Collapse!

**Chapter 8: Bridge collapse!**

Parakarry and Kooper hurried back to the Yoshi's village as fast as they could. The rain was falling a little harder, and Kooper kept slipping on the dirt , they were back on the old bridge that they had crossed earlier. Flick and Goombario were waiting anxiously on the other side.

"The dam's going to collapse!" Kooper shouted.

"We figured!" Goombario shouted back.

"Your only chance is if you cross the bridge!" Flick called.

Parakarry looked down at the bridge. The water level had now grown dangerously high, almost up to the bridge itself.

"It doesn't look safe to me." He gulped.

"What else can we do?" Kooper told him. "The dam breaks, and we're done for."

Parakarry took a breath. His buddy was right, for once.

"I heard that!" Kooper shouted.

Kooper and Parakarry broke into a run as they hurried along the bridge, but the bridge was a least thirty feet long. They were halfway across, when disaster struck.

**BACK AT THE DAM...**

"Come on, dude, this is your nineteenth shot already." Shy Guy 2 complained.

"Shut up, dude, I got this." Shy Guy 1 snapped. He chucked a rock at the dam, and this time, it hit the weakest point. The dam rumbled and shook, the cracks getting bigger, then the walls burst open, letting out a tsunami of Shy Guys watched in horror as the water rushed mercilessly downstream.

"We ought to run, **NOW**." Shy Guy 2 whispered.

**DOWNSTREAM...**

Parakarry and Kooper saw the oncoming tidal wave of water.

"Oh, for crying out f###! You had to jinx it, didn't you?!" Parakarry shouted.

The wave hit the bridge, and Flick and Goombario were forced to take cover. When the wave had gone past, the bridge was gone, Flick glanced over downstream, where he saw a fraction of the bridge floating downstream, carrying Kooper and an unconcious Parakarry with it.

"Oh my god!" Flick shouted. "Come on, Goombario! We have to stop that bridge!"

"Don't have to tell me twice!" Goombario replied. "I just hope this doesn't like the time I..."

"**THIS IS NO TIME FOR FLAHBACKS**!" Flick interjected angrily.

Goombario snapped from his trance. "You're right. We'll meet them downstream, where our paths cross again."

Flick and Goombario hurried back into the jungle as fast as they could.

**MEANWHILE...(AGAIN)**

Parakarry woke up as he and Kooper continued to float downstream helplessly. That's when they saw a sign that made them quake in terror.

The sign read: '_Toad Talk and Justin Bieber's first dual concert.'_

**OKAY THAT'S NOT REALLY WHAT HAPPENED, BUT THAT'S TERRIFYING ENOUGH.**

The sign really read: _'Beware the Waterfall.'_

Kooper gulped. He looked ahead and saw the water sem to dip off an edge.

"If we go over that waterfall, we're screwed." He said.

"Geez, thanks Captain State-The-Obvious." Parakarry muttered.

Flick and Goombario stopped right on the edge of the water, not too far ahead of Kooper and Parakarry's floating bridge segment. Sushie, the motherly Cheep-Cheep, was also with them.

Flick passed Sushie a rope. "We gotta get this thing attached. Quickly!" He told Sushie.

"Got it!" Sushie dived into the water and swam up to the bridge segment. Kooper grabbed the rope from her and furiously tied it to the bridge with Sushie's help. Sushie than swam back to land and grabbed the other end of the rope with Flick and Goombario (Somehow) and pulled.

"GAH!" Flick strained, cheeks turning red with effort. "What the heck did you guys bring with you? Bricks?!"

Slowly but surely, the bridge started to recede and pull to the side of the river. Added to that the rain had started to subside.

"Hooray!" Goombario cheered. "I found flying parcel!" He opened his eyes and took a look, and his smile faded. "Oh, it's only Parakarry." He muttered. Then his face lighted up. "Wait a minute, this means...YES! I did something right for once!" He would have fist pumped, but Goombas don't have hands. "Okay guys, you're safe now."

"When I'm off this** [CENSORED]** bridge, then I'll be safe!" Parakarry muttered angrily.

**END OF...I'm not even going to bother anymore.**


	9. Chapter 9: Celebration!

**Chapter 9: Celebration!**

When the rain had finally stopped and the dam was mended, a small party was held to celebrate the fixing. Yoshi's walked around talking and congratulating Parakarry and his friends for their failed but courageous efforts to stop the dam from breaking.

"Well, here it is." Mario said. "Sorry it took so long, but with the weather being unhelpful and the supply of Marijuana on the island running low, it took a little longer than expected."

"That's alright." Parakarry shrugged. "If it wasn't for Flick and Sushie's help I wouldn't even be here."

"Uh, hello? I'm here too!" Said an insulted Goombario. "What am I, invisible? Underpaid? Badly made?!" He sighed. "If it wasn't for me as well, you would have been a floating shell without wings."

Flick strolled up and gave Parakarry a hefty slap on the back. "Great party, eh?"

"Dude, you can't pull off the Canadian accent." Kooper noted.

Everyone just stared at Kooper, except Flick, who laughed.

"What's Canada?" Luigi asked.

Kooper facepalmed and kicked the ground. "Man, it's just all too easy to break the 4th wall now."

Flick laughed, then turned to Parakarry. "Well, if we've learned one thing from all of this, it's that you can't keep a good wingman down. I don't think I could be that brave if I was in your shoes."

Parakarry smiled. "Oh, I'm sure you would have."

"Well, I hope I never have to." Flick said, and everyone burst out laughing.

After all the laughing died down, Parakarry turned to Flick. "Oh, and Flick, I'M NOT A** F###ING** WINGMAN!"

Flick rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright." He said. "Geez, everyone's a critic these days."

**END OF STORY.**

**Ok, I'll admit, I actually enjoyed writing this stupidity, largely because I could lower my standard completely. If you think I should continue these kind of stories, just say so.**  
**- Para-Zackovic**


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